Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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