R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
