I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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