Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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