I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
