Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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