Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
