And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
