Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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