Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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