he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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