fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
