Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
