The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
