woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
