Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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