ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
