Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
