Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
