just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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