Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
