I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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