I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Screwed.edu
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
