I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
