Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
