i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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