were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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