i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
