I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
