remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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