dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
