It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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