Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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