We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
