I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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