i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We had sex on a dog bed..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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