whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
