I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
