I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
