he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize