Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Randomize
