So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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