You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she peed on how many people?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
