I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
