everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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