She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
