there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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