By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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