Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
