Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
