Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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