I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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