I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
