And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
