Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
