ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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