i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
